CONTRITE

20 June 2013

I realize it has been a week and I have been contemplating one word for seven days now. That's not how it's supposed to work (one word every day) but I couldn't move forward. I was very dissatisfied with my experience with the word and I knew I wasn't getting it.

This is the first definition I found from the Merriam-Webster online dictionary.

CONTRITE: feeling or showing sorrow and remorse for a sin or shortcoming. 

I really felt that this was incomplete and that there was much more to the word than I had found. Then a friend of mine brought to my attention the Noah-Webster dictionary which was based on Christianity. I found what I was looking for at http://1828.mshaffer.com

CONTRITE: Literally, worn or bruised. Hence, broken-hearted for sin; deeply affected with grief and sorrow for having offended God; humble; penitent; as a contrite sinner.

This definition fit with what I knew to be true. I knew being contrite wasn't just sorrow or remorse. I can say, "oops, sorry", and not be contrite even if I did feel sorry for doing or saying something that hurt someone else.

I was asked to give a devotional at a meeting with our presidency. Since I was thinking about the word contrite I decided that I would try to convey the meaning of contrite as described in the 1828 Noah-Webster dictionary. I related the following:

When I was a child of three years old it became necessary for me to have corrective heart surgery. I won't bother with the technical name but let's just say I had a heart valve that went "swish" instead of "thump". That's easy to understand. Needless to say, I was a lethargic and quiet child because my heart was damaged and weak.

In 1974 the doctors where not nearly as efficient with my particular surgery as they are now. The surgery was risky and invasive (I have the large scar to prove it). My heart, in order to be fixed of its problem, had to be manipulated so it could be reached with ease; displayed for all involved to see the procedure; cut in order to remove scar tissue; pierced with sutures to force the muscle to work properly; and bruised as it was placed back in its proper location. 

My heart was traumatized during surgery and I was watched closely during recovery. 

I did recover. 

My heart is strong.

I have a greater understanding of what contrite truly means. We have to be broken before we can get better. We have to be manipulated to uncover the damage that we have done. At times our weaknesses are on display for everyone else to see. The unwanted things have to be removed, cut out. We have to change in order to be better. It's not easy. But it is so worth the reward.

I now know what it is to be contrite. It's painful. It's extremely sorrowful. It's real. It's necessary. And, afterward, there is healing. There is strength. There is love.